Rules I convey for myself that limit my life thoughts, aspirations, and decisions. I’ve noticed too many of them lately.

Let me explain:

These are habits I developed. Habits of thought that make me consider A or B easily. It’s getting darker when these habits are not seen as objective thoughts but as facts. obligations of reality. In addition - they’re forgotten. I don’t notice them anymore so often. They’re getting deeper in my subconscious over time.

I notice it when I hear a stream of thoughts from an outsider and think - how didn’t I consider it? 

I get upset when it comes to topics I consider important and discover that I’ve been and am blind.

A man-in-the-middle attack [1] is similar. When everything seems right, but your utmost and principal codes are hijacked in plain sight by others, and routed by them. I’ve been carrying a mask unknowingly.

I l like to think of myself as an aspiring free man, who adores the feeling of living by his moral code. So I have a problem with this malware inside me.

I hate rules.

[1] in computing and networking - ‘man in the middle” is a concept and an attack that obtains control of the networking between 2 sides, listens to it, and routes it as the attacker wishes. The attacker can make you think you entered eBay, but you entered a fishing site.